Many men have said that they want a smart woman. However, surveys and research have shown that although men will say this, it becomes evident that we don’t actually want this. The Huffington Post has challenged “threatened men” like myself to do some soul-searching on why this may be. I will attempt to explain the phenomenon of why men only think they want an intellectual woman. And keep in mind there is a difference between having intellectual curiosity (red flag) and being book-smart (i.e., working to obtain knowledge necessary to succeed at school or work tasks).
A man who possesses some amount of intellectual curiosity will likely feel a reasonable and compelling need to find intellectual curiosity of a similar caliber in his long-term mate. The thinking and reading man yearns for a woman who is a deep-level thinker like himself with whom he can share intelligent conversations and create a bond over their musings. But at the end of the day, it seems men don’t really value intellectualism in a woman as much as they might think.
To figure out why, we must look at some of the common behavior of a woman who might be described as an intellectual.
But first, how should we define an intellectual? I would say a decent measure is by analyzing the type of content a person consumes. When it comes to your content consumption, how much of it is informational and how much of it is entertainment?
Take any given man or woman, study their habits of seeking out information vs.seeking out entertainment, and you could assign them a percentage value of which type of content they seek out.
Information could be defined as the following
- Non-fiction reading
- Non-fiction television/documentaries
- Informational Podcasts
- News/Current Events
Entertainment can be defined as the following
- Pop fiction reading (I’d say reading the classics would be more informational)
- Television and movies (sit-coms, dramas, comedies, etc.)
- Spectator sports
- Video Games
I would like to estimate my own Information to Entertainment value roughly at 75% Information / 25% Entertainment. Although I could be underestimating my Sunday Netflix binges.
We can define an Information Seeker as someone who splits their content consumption 51% information and 49% entertainment. Conversely, we can assume someone is an Entertainment Seeker if they consume entertainment 51% of the time, meanwhile consuming information 49% of the time. Most people are Entertainment Seekers.
Let’s say a particular woman is an Information Seeker, or an intellectual. Due to the type of information that is widely available, the type of information that a typical thinking woman might be drawn to, and the environmental influences she may be exposed to through popular media, women who lean towards being Information Seekers are at greater risk for being more dominant, more feminist, and are more likely to embrace sexual promiscuity as a means of freedom or enlightenment. They sometimes characterize themselves as “free-spirits” and want to experience the world (and the many men of the world). These characteristics that are found in most intellectual women typically do not serve a committed relationship very well.
Of course, Entertainment Seekers are also at risk in another way. We can all think back to the “dumb sluts” of our adolescence and early adulthood. When these girls weren’t absorbed in watching reality television, they were highly focused on the present moment of seeking short-lived, positive male attention through slutty behavior. At the time, they were too short-sighted to see how this behavior disqualifies them as long-term dating material in the eyes of most men. The ones that realize this after-the-fact, will go to great lengths to cover up their past behavior and will lie to and get upset at potential suitors who attempt to investigate.
My reason for making the distinction between Information seekers and Entertainment seekers is that in my experience, most girls whom I’ve connected with on a deep intellectual level.. well, turn out to be sluts. They were information seekers of course. I’ve yet to meet a girl that holds my interest both intellectually and physically but who also treats her sexuality as something that a potential suitor should earn through commitment and emotional investment. (Not counting Beta males of course as they will unknowingly volunteer to work hard for sex.)
It seems you can’t have the best of both worlds. You can’t find a girl that truly stimulates you intellectually without having to share her with many other men. Whether it’s her slutty past that you’re not supposed to care about, her cheating on the side, or her future drunken one night stands to get over you after the break up, you will have to share her with many, many men. This seems to be the nature of most deep-thinking intellectual girls. They struggle with commitment and they want to ride out their peak SMV years by traveling and sampling the different food, culture, and men of the world.
There is an exception here when it comes to the promiscuity of Information Seekers. Intellectual women who aren’t physically attractive are also not promiscuous, because they don’t have the option to be. I suspect that if physically unattractive smart women had fared better in the biological lottery, they too would partake in the loose lifestyle that their better looking counterparts enjoy.
I have, however, met girls who aren’t exactly geniuses but they respect commitment. They seem more interested in having a family than pursuing the quest of “finding themselves” through a decade of spinsterhood and casual sex with drunk men. They marry in their prime because they want to settle down. If a woman truly wanted family and commitment wouldn’t she try to settle down sooner rather than later when biology and peer pressure more or less force her into it?
These girls I’m referring to, a small sub-section of Entertainment Seekers, have usually had less than 7 sexual partners. And those dudes had to work and emotionally invest before they got laid, even the alphas who easily hooked up with other girls.These girls are obviously a minority. But I have seen them.
These girls are almost never Information Seekers. They won’t be able to have many deep and philosophical conversations with you. They don’t read extensively or watch interesting documentaries. They can probably only name 4 presidents. Don’t even ask them what a Secretary of State is. They’re not going to know your favorite bands. They won’t know any television or movies outside of their own pop culture generation. They won’t be history buffs or economic philosophers. They won’t be highly cultured. They may have been booksmart and were able to navigate a semester of classes to pull a high GPA, but they lack intellectual curiosity. They learn because they have to, not because they necessarily want to. They aren’t intellectual women. And for some reason, it seems that this is the ideal type of woman to trust and settle down with. I would say that a woman who is trustworthy and interested in marrying in her prime probably seeks out Information 20% of the time and seeks out Entertainment the other 80% of the time.
The point I’m making in all of this is that when it comes to vetting a woman for a LTR, Information Seekers or Intellectuals will mostly be a bad choice. Of course, most Entertainment Seekers are just as promiscuous as their intelligent counterparts, but I believe there is a small subsection of Entertainment Seekers where the good girls can be found.
These are all generalizations of course. There will be exceptions. There may be some intellectual, attractive women who are capable of committing. And there will be MANY women who seek out mostly entertainment who are totally incapable of committing. But you should be especially wary of the attractive, intellectual girls. Intellectual curiosity in a good-looking woman should almost be viewed as a red flag. In the end, it is not a feminine characteristic that will serve your relationship as well as you might think.