Some environments are set up to take advantage of the good guy. Being the selfless, honest, and forthright human being that your parents and community raised you to be, can often times work to your detriment. You must unlearn some of those righteous teachings you picked up from other people in your life, no matter how much you looked up to them, and let experience, observation, and critical thinking be your only teachers. When a particular scenario is set up to exploit the kind-natured man, the only reasonable response is to adopt a Machiavellian approach and do what is necessary to ensure others will not abuse your virtue for their own personal gain.
Dating, at least in the early stages before you’ve made any kind of commitment, should be taken with a Machiavellian approach. Be a decent human being, but also put your own self-interests above a girl’s.
Girls are going to flake on you. Especially girls you meet on dating apps. Even if you’re decent looking with good game, I would say girls you meet in bars and on dating apps will flake on you about 50% of the time. The best way around this is to double book your dates, then a few hours before the date, pick the one you like more and flake on the other. There’s a good chance she’s doing this to you as well. Make sure you’re texting both options the day before the date and the day of the date to solidify the momentum. If they both are being responsive to you, assume they are not going to flake. If it’s the day of the date, you text her and haven’t heard back within 3 hours, assume she’s going to flake.
For the record, I don’t want to have to double book dates and then flake on someone. But I’ve had enough Tinder girls flake on me to know this what I have to do so that my time is not wasted. There’s nothing worse than planning your evening around a date, only to have it fall through. Better to flake than be flaked on. When you flake on a girl, tell her you had to work late or something out of your control came up unexpectedly.
You should also lie out of convenience.
A few years ago, I had plans with a girl and she was insistent that I pick her up for our date. I didn’t want to because she lived 25 minutes away. So I lied to her. I said I got in a minor car accident earlier in the day and my car was in the shop so she would have to take an Uber to come meet me.
You should also lie about your height. I think it’s strange that it’s socially acceptable for a woman to ask “How tall are you?” completely unsolicited and out of the blue while it remains socially unacceptable for a man to make any sort of inquiry or comment about a girl’s weight. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had a good text exchange going with a girl who’s number I got online (so she didn’t yet know my height). Things seemed to be going great. She was being flirtatious and we had a good witty banter going back and forth. Then all of a sudden, she completely ruins the the mood of the interaction by sending those 4 stale and shallow words. “How tall are you?”
Why is it okay for women to judge men on height, something they cannot control, while it is considered rude to make any judgement towards a woman for her weight, something she can control?
I am man of average height. And when girls have unlimited options online, they are likely to only consider the good-looking tall ones. Although I have decent looks, I’m a little disadvantaged by being 5’8. However, I can pull off telling a girl that I’m 6’0 by wearing shoes that give me 1 additional inch and sole inserts that give me 2 additional inches. This puts me at 5’11. I can then just round up one more inch and tell girls I’m 6’0. If anyone who knows me happens to see I’ve magically sprouted 3 inches, I just tell them I got some new shoes and I didn’t realize they made me so tall.
To get your foot in the door with women who have unlimited options, a little subterfuge is sometimes required. However, don’t lie about the kind of guy you are. You meet and date a lot of women. You don’t brag about it but you don’t apologize for it either. Don’t lie about who you are but don’t feel guilty about lying out of convenience or self-interest. She’s doing the same to you when she tells you she’s feeling “sick” and can’t make the date you two had planned.
You should never feel a sense of loyalty to a company. Small family-operated businesses may be an exception to this, and you should also take care to do good enough work that your colleagues lives are not made difficult by your slacking or selfishness, but understand one thing:
Your employer does not care about you.
Your direct supervisors might, if you’re lucky. But don’t mistake the people you work under for your “employer”. Your employer is a soulless organization. An organization with concerns that do not take into consideration one individual’s best interests. Your company as a whole serves the almighty dollar and exists to generate money. Everything else is just a byproduct of that. Your employment is only a byproduct of that. The products and services that a company brings to the world is only a byproduct of that. When it comes to you and your employment, the company only cares about what you bring to the table for them and how cheaply they can get it from you.
This is why you should take a Machiavellian approach to the corporate world. When you interview for a new job and your potential new employer asks how much money you currently make – lie to them. Tell them you make more than you actually do. They obviously ask you this question so they can get an idea of how cheaply you can be bought. They have no right to ask you something so personal but employers always have the upper hand over the employees, so they get away with all kinds of things. A question like this is blatantly taking advantage of an individual person. And for this reason, when I’m asked this question, I lie through my teeth without a trace of guilt.
I had to learn this lesson the hard way. My first job out of college was the definition of a shit job. It was cold call insurance sales and I hated my life. I was desperate to land a new job and found a recruiting agency to help me line up interviews. The recruiter asked me what my current salary was and I gave them the honest answer. They eventually helped me get hired with a new employer and I got a new salary slightly above what I was then making at my shit job. I maintained a good relationship with the recruiter and continued to send referrals her way. A year later, I decided to help one of my best friends get a job at my firm. I referred him to the recruiter that had helped me and she lined him up an interview with my employer. He told me he was going to lie and exaggerate his current salary to try and max out his potential offer. He was two years younger than me and fresh into the workforce. He was making about the same that I made at my old shit job. He eventually got hired and we became co workers. Since we were good friends and had known each other a long time, we were comfortable enough to share our salary information with each other to see what kind of deal our employer had given us. I came to find out that our employer offered him a starting salary 26% above what they offered me. So there I was with almost two years on the job, training my newly hired friend who had zero industry experience, all while he is making 26% more money than I was. I also came to find out that the recruiter I referred him to had made him swear up and down that he would never tell me his offer. He got a better deal simply because the recruiter and the employer thought his salary at his last job was higher than it really was.
It was a slap in the face. I felt no contempt towards my friend, but I felt betrayed by both the recruiter and my employer. It was a tough pill to swallow but I learned my lesson that day. I learned that the corporate world doesn’t give a shit about you. And you shouldn’t give a shit about them.
Look for ways to get time back into your day. If you can leave early or come in late and no one you care about will be negatively affected by it, do it. Look for employers who understand that if a job can be done remotely, then there is no point in sucking up an employee’s time by forcing them to sit in an office. Always keep an eye out for better opportunities and never feel guilty to leave one employer for a better one.
During the U.S. 2012 election, Mitt Romney made an interesting statement, “Corporations are people.” I would say that corporations are of course comprised of people. But a corporation itself, is not a person. Be good to the people. But use the corporation as it uses you.