I’ve noticed more and more men have begun to question if the Tinder juice is still worth the squeeze.
I’ve written a lot of articles about how to have success with online dating and my audience was mostly built on people searching Google for Tinder tips. Currently, the most viewed post on this website is Not Matching On Tinder Or Bumble? Try This
I still fully stand by the advice I wrote as it pertains to messaging girls. But I can no longer stand by the platforms that I told men to apply that advice to. This includes any dating app that can be downloaded to your smartphone.
2013-2015 was really the short-lived prime of dating apps. It was the time when everything about swiping was new and all the girls were curious and intrigued. It was the time when decent-looking guys could upload a few pics, say a few witty lines, and get some decent-looking girls to meet up with them.
To be frank, it was the time before women got too damn picky online.
Fast forward to the end of 2017, and any modest-looking girl who uses the app quickly realizes that she matches with every single guy she swipes right on. Even guys that are far more handsome than she is pretty. I’ve witnessed this for myself and if you’ve got some female friends then you’ve probably witnessed it for yourself as well.
People respond to incentives. Human nature dictates that if an average girl can get the cream of the crop, then that’s the only sector of men she’ll bother paying attention to. Dating apps have made the majority of men completely invisible to most women.
This boom in hypergamy was set into motion decades ago. But it’s broken new ground with the introduction of smartphones and dating apps that enable women to quite literally have an entire municipality of men beating down her door.
It used to take balls to approach a woman. This kept things in check. But there is no courage required in swiping right on a girl.
When grandma was in her 20s, maybe she got hit on a couple times a year by the local butcher and it made her feel like hot shit for a day. But there was not a digital sex market she could easily pull up on a handheld device for a daily dopamine overdose that comes from all the likes and male attention millennial women have grown accustomed to.
In the modern era, every average-looking girl has an onlsluaght of cock offerings at her fingertips that has effectively driven her ego into the stratosphere.
Why would a woman who is a 6 settle for her male 6 counterpart when she can score a man who is an 8 or a 9? Below is a graphic that I think sums up the current situation in American dating pretty accurately.
While Tinder and dating apps are alive and well for women. They no longer deserve your time if you’re a man.
If you’re a good-looking guy, yes you can still sleep with a couple average to cute girls a month if you text your ass off, but after a few years of this, you may find yourself burned out.
I reviewed my behavior over the past year and found dating apps causing more negatives in my life than positives.
1) I was more hesitant to talk to girls out at bars and in real life.
Dating apps had made me lazy and rusty.
2) I found myself lowering my standards in women just so I could get a match.
How demoralizing is it for a man to sink hours into swiping every week only to come up with next to nothing?
Enough time spent on Tinder and you will start lowering your standards just to get a match.
Tinder has groomed women to date up and it has groomed men to date down.
3) I could no longer stomach the horrible attitudes and bitchy bios from the profiles I encountered.
Every time I swiped right on them, a little piece of me died as I sold out my dignity for a minuscule shot at getting some action.
I was rewarding them with attention when the proper response would be to shun them for poor behavior.
And finally, the last nail in Tinder’s coffin was hammered in when girls developed the gall to start shamelessly monetizing their accounts by demanding money upfront before they would even talk to you.
Dozens of bloggers have already penned articles on why men shouldn’t bother with dating apps, mentioning all of the items I referenced above. But at the end of the day, in spite of all the aforementioned points, it was still possible to get some decent results from when they first came out. But as we enter the late 2010s, we must recognize that is no longer the case.
And again, yes, this applies to all dating apps.
“What about Bumble? The girls are way hotter don’t you think?”
I think it’s an excellent way for girls to boost Instagram followings. And they don’t even have to worry about their matches messaging them since they have to send the first message.
“But what do you think about Hinge? Do you think it’s better since they took away swiping?”
I think it’s a great way for average looking girls to sleep around with sexy guys.
“Dude have you heard about The League? It’s super exclusive. You have to apply for membership but I just got in.”
I think you should throw your phone in the river.
How many problems in modern dating would be solved if the aggregate male response to bitchy & entitled behavior was to simply walk away and ignore girls for these kinds of attitudes?
But is that what happens? No. Despite all the awful attitudes and shamelessness, we continue to swipe right. We continue to tolerate bad behavior. And we will continue to get what we put up with.
Am I swearing off online dating for the rest of my life? Probably not. I’m sure I’ll backslide into swiping around from time to time. I can still get on board with the idea of it being one way to meet women as long as it doesn’t become the only way you meet women. But dating apps are now mostly for girls. And any self-respecting man must seriously question and limit his use of them.