Last week I noticed a spike in my web traffic and traced it back to this post on Reddit

 

I was pleased. Because I was starting to wonder what was taking sugar babies so long to find the article I posted a couple months ago: Salt Dating 101: How To Sleep With Sugar Babies Without Actually Paying Them.

 

But finally they stumbled across it and discussed it at length on Reddit until the moderator shut it down because “comments were getting nasty” .

 

Here’s what sugar babies had to say about me:

 


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I see a lot of delusion and entitlement in the above comments. Delusion in that they feel their existence as an attractive female should be enough to earn them a high salary as a sex worker with no social consequences or stigmas. Entitlement that men should play by their rules and treat them like princesses in spite of their prostitution. And that any deviation from their rules must be labeled as “predatory”.

 

But there was actually something I read that I agreed with.

 

peekingsugar writes that I should “just own it”.

 

I assume she means I should own up to the fact that I’ve basically been running an elaborate scam over the last year. Or perhaps she’s alluding to my potential hypocrisy of enjoying sex with sugar babies while at the same time abhorring the actual sugar dating world.

 

And she’s right. I should own it.

 

I do own and admit that what I’ve done on Seeking Arrangement essentially amounts to scamming wannabe hookers into free sex.  And that’s probably not a story that I’ll share with my grandchildren one day. I also realize there may be some hypocrisy to sleeping with these girls while at the same time loathing their gold-digging behavior that gets me laid.

 

But I’ll say this: when you see just how sexy and attractive some of these girls are on Seeking Arrangement, and you see just how eager they are to meet you and sleep with you, and you see just how many of them are not even that focused on scoring cash from you.. well you might just find yourself slipping off the moral high horse and being seduced by it all. In fact, I don’t know too many young heterosexual men who wouldn’t, given the opportunity.

 


4


 

Perhaps it is a little slimy to take a sugar baby out on a date, sleep with her, and not pay her.

 

But do you know what is even more slimy? Taking a sugar baby out on a date, sleeping with her, and then actually paying her.

 

Sugar dating is an attempt to engage in prostitution while skirting the social costs that have always accompanied it. Sugar babies want to have their cake and eat it too. They want all the benefits of prostitution without any of the costs. They want to turn themselves into a sexual commodity and then later down the road, snag the commitment of a hard-working faithful husband (and probably keep him clueless about her past).

 

It’s not that I hate hookers and johns. It’s the world’s oldest profession and it’s not going anywhere. All I’m saying is that we should at least call this what it is. Because if we don’t and this trend becomes widely accepted by all society as “normal” female behavior, then I believe the temptation for all young women to buy in and sell out will simply be an offer they can’t refuse. And that scares the shit out of me.

 

I’ve owned up and called out what I’ve done – run a hypocritical scam. Sugar babies and Sugar daddies should do the same. They should own up and call out what it is that they do.

 

Because as the sugar baby below puts it, the “norm” approach to sugar dating that should be “universally practiced” in their world (the bowl) is prostitution.

 


5


 

 

“No allowance without intimacy, no intimacy without allowance”

 

Or in other words: No payment without sexual activity, no sexual activity without payment.

 

 



 

 

 

Note: I’m currently writing a book chronicling my experiences in the sugar dating world. If you have some interesting stories of your own then I would encourage you to take the survey through the link below – All input is welcome, both male and female, both fans and haters. Your name will be kept anonymous. 

Take the 13-question survey here

 

 

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  • bigpsych

    They get mad when men have the upper hand on SA like many women do on regular dating apps like Tinder. I think many guys are refusing to date down so they resort to other methods.

    • Pretty much. In countries like America, status-hacking and fame game will evolve as the most effective way for normal guys to sleep with attractive women.

    • kofybean

      I find it fascinating that they don’t see themselves as predatory or leeches – only men are the bad ones.

      I’ve had SBs shop and dash with money in hand, or others try to extort me for more. I’ve had the “I just need the money now, can we play another time?” Knowing she would disappear.

      In normal dating, women have the upper hand, as admitted by many on that r. They can get dates or whatever, whenever… a SB relationship is just them trying to profit off of it in a way men cannot.

  • kofybean

    “But do you know what is even more slimy? Taking a sugar baby out on a date, sleeping with her, and then actually paying her.”

    Damn, that’s a lot of truth.

    • The word “sugar baby” is just a cute and trendy re-branding of the word prostitute. People will do all kinds of mental gymnastics to rationalize their actions.

      • kofybean

        Well, what is illegal isn’t always amoral. I’m not so concerned with the legality of their moves, but the entitlement of it: the complaint that somehow men are more culpable in the situation.

        I’m not one to knock the hustle. If women see a viable path to make money, go for it. They monetize men. Fair enough, but why do women cry fowl when the men who refuse to be monetized have their own hustle?

        The amount of time a woman spends with a man equals the amount of time that man is spending with her. The quantity of sex a woman gives to a man, he’s giving to her. Demanding further compensation betrays a superiority complex from whoever demands it.

  • rewrew

    do you have to pay to send/receive messages?

  • Joe

    All POS lying whores on that site.

  • Joe

    Another thing. Young women that fuck various old men and fuck various old men for money make me sick in the stomach. I don’t want anything to do with them, regardless of how hot they are or how much sex there is, bunch of creeps.

    • It definitely leaves a bad taste in the mouth to see it so widely accepted with little to no social consequence. But you have to try to not let it turn you bitter. That is no way to live life. It is what it is. Just gotta recognize how the game gets played so you don’t get played.

      • Joe

        Nar not bitter, they can do what they want, but I can do what I want too including who I let into my life. SBs hide what they do, live two lives, act like they are not prostitutes in the open, but they sure are in secret. In the process they deceive basically everyone around them and are very good at it. I’m pretty clued onto the subtle red flags SBs/prostitutes show, but took me years to figure it all out. As you said, “recognize how the game gets played so you don’t get played” is the best way. ?

    • Hunn

      Never forget: once you will get old. Nothing disgusting in a young girl fucking with older men.
      What is disgusting, though, is a girl fucking for money.

  • Hunn

    Prostitution is the most cruel, dehumanizing, debasing, most evil, predatory and exploiting activity with countless victims.

    And I am not speaking about the women. Hell no! Screw them, who cares?

    Prostitutes are exploiting men’s normal urges and desires for sexual intimacy, making money off their hard labour.

    Seriously, screw them! Or, literally speaking, don’t!

  • Eudaimonic Rex

    This is pure gold: the willful ignorance of these birds never ceases to amaze.

    • People will go through all kinds of mental gymnastics in order to rationalize having their cake and eating it too