What The Hell Is Sugar Dating?
As you may already be aware, sugar dating is the concept of an older, wealthier man providing “sponsorship” to a younger, attractive girl. Sponsorship typically comes in the form of a weekly or monthly cash allowance. The man gives the girl money. The girl gives the man
sex companionship. The most popular website for this is called Seeking Arrangement.
So basically what we have here is a rationalized prostitution loophole that has been gaining more social acceptability with each passing year. As of 2016, I would estimate that less than 10% of attractive women have or have had sugar daddies. But as this trend grows and becomes more accepted, we can expect that figure to rise drastically.
I believe a day will come when it’s as common for a hot 20-something to have a sugar daddy as it is for her to have a dating app downloaded on her phone. The line between “normal” dating behavior and prostitution will become blurred.
But this article won’t go into the cultural implications of such a phenomenon. For today we’re simply going to focus on how the common man such as myself or perhaps yourself can play this game too and benefit from the growing number of middle-class women whoring themselves out to the rich.
What The Hell Is Salt Dating?
They have a term for guys like me. Salt Daddy.
I first saw this term online when I read an article written by a frustrated sugar baby. She was tired of going on dates with guys who fucked her and then failed to contact her again in order to set up a transfer of funds.
“Salt Daddy” was of course a term meant to insult but to me these guys sounded like geniuses if anything. And I wanted to join them.
As you might have guessed at this point, a Salt Daddy is a fake Sugar Daddy.
The general idea is that you sign up for a Sugar Daddy profile on a website like Seeking Arrangement. You lie about your net worth. You lie about your income. You take girls out on dates. You bang them. You don’t pay them. That’s it.
Let’s get started.
Today, you’re going to play a role. You’re no longer a student, a server, or a cubicle-dweller. You’re an intimidating and charming millionaire.
Sugar dating websites typically encourage you to use an alias or a fake name. I googled “rich sounding names” and Donovan Chase was born soon after.
Most importantly, your story needs to be believable. It’s a lot easier to fake a million dollar net worth than it is to say you’re a multi-billionaire.
On Seeking Arrangement, my net worth is stated at $2M and my income is $300k. Anything more than that would be impossible to fake.
In the “About Me” section, I explain that my “streak of fortune” came from being childhood friends with the founder and CEO of a well known social media app. I let the girls wonder which one it may be, but I have more back story prepared if she brings it up on the date. Usually curiosity will get the best of her and I’ll weave an elaborate story of how I used to bounce ideas around with the CEO of whatever app so he gave me a small piece of the company worth $2 million.
For the “What I’m looking For” section I say I’m looking to meet and settle on one girl for an arrangement/travel companion. Someone stylish, fun and easy to talk to.
Keep it short, simple, and enticing. Don’t write novels. Key advice for all forms of online dating.
I find it fun to get into the role play of your backstory. There have been times when I sold my story so convincingly on a date that even I believed it.
As you peruse profiles and send out messages, you may notice something strikingly different about sugar dating sites compared to normal online dating.
The girls are really nice to you.
Many of the girls will be very responsive, sweet, and eager to get to know you. It’s not going to be like Tinder where the market is heavily skewed in her favor. It’s your turn to be the hot commodity now. You’re going to get a taste of what it’s like to be a rich and famous person.
There have been times when I matched with a girl on Tinder and she was short-tempered and rude. Then I saw her on Seeking Arrangement and sent her a message and she was like a completely different person! I couldn’t help but feel bad for all the guys on Tinder who had to put up with her crap while I got the best side of her.
So what does this mean?
It means you barely even have to use game.
In your normal life, if you go up to a smokeshow 10 and show her your cockiest and funniest game, she’s going to think “hmm well this guy is different. This guy is fearless. This guy is attractive.”
But if a celebrity went up to that girl and ran over-the-top, arrogant, cocky-funny game on her, it would probably hurt her feelings and make her think that he’s a mean person.
Why is that? It’s because a celebrity has higher status than her. And relative status has to be factored into your game and the way you interact with people.
On Tinder or in real life, if she’s hot then she’ll often automatically perceive herself to be higher status than you. That’s why you bring that cocky game to smash her pedestal into a million pieces and make her think, “hmm he must have a lot going for him to talk to me like that”.
But on sugar dating websites you have built-in status. Remember that and don’t over-game.
Now you understand why it’s important to account for relative status and calibrate your game accordingly.
Update: I used to publicly share my word-for-word messages here that I would send out to girls. But this article was viewed enough times that sending those messages was getting recognized way too often. If you’re interested in seeing some screenshots of text interactions I’ve had, be sure to sign up for my free email newsletter.
But essentially, when you’re messaging on SA, the idea to keep in mind is “less is more”. Keep interactions brief, fun, and flirty before moving the conversation to text. Ask her to tell you more about herself beyond what is on her profile. That’s pretty much it.
Seem easy? That’s because it is. Welcome to the lifestyle of the rich and the famous.
It’s paramount that you treat the entire interaction as “normal” as you can and make it feel like a standard attraction-comfort-seduction dynamic.
But it’s inevitable that the site or the idea of an arrangement will come up in some way.
She’ll probably ask you what you’re looking for, why you’re on the site, or what your ideal arrangement is.
My response is always along these lines.
I’m pretty new to this. I’ve only gone on a couple dates so far but I’m looking to pick one girl who’s fun and interesting to talk to. Someone I have chemistry with. You seem like you could have potential so we should meet for a drink and get to know each other.
You want to give the impression that the sooner she fucks you, the better chance she has of landing the position. Be subtle about it but make sure she knows she has competition. That way she’ll be more likely to give you the best experience possible on the first date.
Remember: You always want to drive the conversation away from any kind of arrangement talk and back into normal dating/getting-to-know-each-other territory.
These are your terms. If she doesn’t like them she can walk.
The beauty of the site is that in my experience, it’s about 80% girls who are just curious and interested in going out with a rich and well-connected guy. They’re interested in the idea and potential of an arrangement.
They’re interested in just having a good time and unique experience. They’re not quick to talk money and they’re happy to accept a date on your terms.
The other 20% are part-time escorts talented in the dark arts of extracting wealth and materials from men.
Don’t entertain these girls who try to iron out the details of an arrangement before she even meets you for a date. These are the girls you need to weed out.
They’re the ones who will ask you how much you’ll pay to go out with them or what kinds of gifts or donations you bring to dates.
They’re the ones who will want to know the exact dollar amount they can expect to have transferred into their PayPal accounts before you even get to the third message.
They’re the ones who would be more than happy to draft up an ironclad legal document detailing the terms and conditions of the arrangement… if they could afford a lawyer.
I typically will allow 1-2 gold digging comments before I throw her into the escort bucket and delete her from my inbox. These girls aren’t what I’m looking for. Lucky for us, the numbers are in our favor. These girls are a minority and you should feel no hesitation to walk away from them.
You can also tell a lot about a girl by looking at the date and year she signed up for the site. You’ll have more success with the girls who are newer.
You’re doing things on your terms, not hers. What we have here gentlemen is a buyer’s market. And it’s vastly overcrowded with what she’s selling.
The Date and Logistical Hurdles
I remember my first Seeking Arrangement date like it was yesterday. I won’t lie, I was slightly nervous. But as I was getting ready I realized that she should be the one who’s nervous, not me. I’m the intimidating millionaire. I’m the one who fearlessly calls the shots and who isn’t afraid to walk away from bad deals.
I got into my role-playing state of mind, treated it like a normal date, and had her in bed by the end of the night.
It’s worth noting that I live in a two bedroom apartment and have a roommate. I drive a ten year old Honda. These visible parts of my lifestyle don’t exactly scream “millionaire”. So I have to find a way around them.
I typically just tell the girls that I own the place and rent out the spare bedroom to one of my buddies. I say it with a casual confidence and they’ve never questioned it. Even as we walk past the big sign that says “Leasing Center” indicating the building is actually full of rental units rather than for-sale condominiums.
As for the faithful old Honda, I imagine in this situation it would be a bigger cockblock than a full-scale herpes outbreak. So they never see it. I live walking distance to some bars so we walk somewhere nearby or we take Uber.
You’ll have to think through your own individual logistics challenges and come up with solutions. But worse-case scenario, you can take her to a hotel bar. If things are looking good, go to the bathroom and book the hotel room on your phone using Expedia. Then discreetly grab the keys at the lobby when you can.
So as the date progresses, you’ll seed the idea of going upstairs to your room to watch some amazing show that you’re currently hooked on or whatever. And if she seems down, book the room.
In the 21st century, you no longer have to be a millionaire or a rockstar to have the sex life of one. Why should pretty girls be the only ones that get to have all the fun and excitement in life? Oh and please don’t try to sell me the idea of a Sugar Mama. That market doesn’t exist (nor would I want it to).
If you decide to give this crazy world a go, I think you’ll find that most of the girls you go out with are pleasant and fun. They’re looking for a good time and are happy with just a nice date and some good sex. They will follow your lead.. if you have the will to lead.
If you’re an average-looking younger guy then you’re going to be a welcome change of pace for her. By the time you hit send, she’s probably already received dozens of desperate messages from older gentlemen who bare frightening resemblance to her creepy step-uncle. I once made a fake female account to check what the competition was like, and it ain’t good.
With salt dating, I can’t promise every date will be a positive experience. But you’ll certainly have your fair share of interesting stories to tell. God knows I have mine. But that’s a book I’ve yet to write.
When the rules of the game say you’re not allowed to play, I say fuck the rules and hack the game.