What The Hell Is Sugar Dating?

As you may already be aware, sugar dating is the concept of an older, wealthier man providing “sponsorship” to a younger, attractive girl. Sponsorship typically comes in the form of a weekly or monthly cash allowance. The man gives the girl money. The girl gives the man sex companionship. The most popular website for this is called Seeking Arrangement. 

 

So basically what we have here is a rationalized prostitution loophole that has been gaining more social acceptability with each passing year. As of 2016, I would estimate that less than 10% of attractive women have or have had sugar daddies. But as this trend grows and becomes more accepted, we can expect that figure to rise drastically.

 

I believe a day will come when it’s as common for a hot 20-something to have a sugar daddy as it is for her to have a dating app downloaded on her phone. The line between “normal” dating behavior and prostitution will become blurred.

 

But this article won’t go into the cultural implications of such a phenomenon. For today we’re simply going to focus on how the common man such as myself or perhaps yourself can play this game too and benefit from the growing number of middle-class women whoring themselves out to the rich.

 

What The Hell Is Salt Dating?

They have a term for guys like me. Salt Daddy.

 

I first saw this term online when I read an article written by a frustrated sugar baby. She was tired of going on dates with guys who fucked her and then failed to contact her again in order to set up a transfer of funds.

 

“Salt Daddy” was of course a term meant to insult. But I fucking loved it. To me, these guys sounded like geniuses if anything. And I wanted to join them. I will proudly own the label of Salt Daddy as I revel in the nailing and bailing of entitled beautiful women.  

 

As you might have guessed at this point, a Salt Daddy is a fake Sugar Daddy.

 

The general idea is that you sign up for a Sugar Daddy profile on a website like Seeking Arrangement. You lie about your net worth. You lie about your income. You take girls out on dates. You bang them. You don’t pay them. That’s it.

 

Let’s get started.

 

The Story

Today, you’re going to play a role. You’re no longer a student, a server, or a cubicle-dweller. You’re an intimidating and charming millionaire.

 

Sugar dating websites typically encourage you to use an alias or a fake name. I googled “rich sounding names” and Donovan Chase was born soon after.

 

Most importantly, your story needs to be believable. It’s a lot easier to fake a million dollar net worth than it is to say you’re a multi-billionaire.

 

On Seeking Arrangement, my net worth is stated at $2M and my income is $300k. Anything more than that would be impossible to fake.

 

In the “About Me” section, I explain that my “streak of fortune” came from being childhood friends with the founder and CEO of a well known social media app. I let the girls wonder which one it may be, but I have more back story prepared if she brings it up on the date. Usually curiosity will get the best of her and I’ll weave an elaborate story of how I used to bounce ideas around with the CEO of whatever app so he gave me a small piece of the company worth $2 million.

 

For the “What I’m looking For” section I say I’m looking to meet and settle on one girl for an arrangement/travel companion. Someone stylish, fun and easy to talk to.

 

Keep it short, simple, and enticing. Don’t write novels. Key advice for all forms of online dating.

 

I find it fun to get into the role play of your backstory. There have been times when I sold my story so convincingly on a date that even I believed it.

 

The Vibe

As you peruse profiles and send out messages, you may notice something strikingly different about sugar dating sites compared to normal online dating.

 

The girls are really nice to you.

 

Many of the girls will be very responsive, sweet, and eager to get to know you. It’s not going to be like Tinder where the market is heavily skewed in her favor. It’s your turn to be the hot commodity now. You’re going to get a taste of what it’s like to be a rich and famous person.

 

There have been times when I matched with a girl on Tinder and she was short-tempered and rude. Then I saw her on Seeking Arrangement and sent her a message and she was like a completely different person! I couldn’t help but feel bad for all the guys on Tinder who had to put up with her crap while I got the best side of her.

 

So what does this mean?

 

It means you barely even have to use game.

 

In your normal life, if you go up to a smokeshow 10 and show her your cockiest and funniest game, she’s going to think “hmm well this guy is different. This guy is fearless. This guy is attractive.”

 

But if a celebrity went up to that girl and ran over-the-top, arrogant, cocky-funny game on her, it would probably hurt her feelings and make her think that he’s a mean person.

 

Why is that? It’s because a celebrity has higher status than her. And relative status has to be factored into your game and the way you interact with people.

 

On Tinder or in real life, if she’s hot then she’ll often automatically perceive herself to be higher status than you. That’s why you bring that cocky game to smash her pedestal into a million pieces and make her think, “hmm he must have a lot going for him to talk to me like that”.

 

But on sugar dating websites you have built-in status. Remember that and don’t over-game.

 

The Approach

Now you understand why it’s important to account for relative status and calibrate your game accordingly. With that being said, I’m now going to share with you my messaging strategy.

 

1st message: So I’m looking for someone to spoil. Do you know anyone?

 

2nd message: So tell me about yourself

 

3rd message: Well you seem interesting. We should get a drink soon and get to know each other

 

That’s it.

 

Seem easy? That’s because it is. Welcome to the lifestyle of the rich and the famous.

 

The Terms

It’s paramount that you treat the entire interaction as  “normal” as you can and make it feel like a standard attraction-comfort-seduction dynamic.

 

But it’s inevitable that the site or the idea of an arrangement will come up in some way.

 

She’ll probably ask you what you’re looking for, why you’re on the site, or what your ideal arrangement is.

 

My response is always along these lines.

 

I’m pretty new to this. I’ve only gone on a couple dates so far but I’m looking to pick one girl who’s fun and interesting to talk to. Someone I have chemistry with. You seem like you could have potential so we should meet for a drink and get to know each other.

 

You want to give the impression that the sooner she fucks you, the better chance she has of landing the position. Be subtle about it but make sure she knows she has competition. That way she’ll be more likely to give you the best experience possible on the first date. 

 

Remember: You always want to drive the conversation away from any kind of arrangement talk and back into normal dating/getting-to-know-each-other territory.

 

These are your terms. If she doesn’t like them she can walk.

 

The beauty of the site is that in my experience, it’s about 80% girls who are just curious and interested in going out with a rich and well-connected guy. They’re interested in the idea and potential of an arrangement.

 

They’re interested in just having a good time and unique experience. They’re not quick to talk money and they’re happy to accept a date on your terms. 

 

The other 20% are part-time escorts talented in the dark arts of extracting wealth and materials from men.

 

Don’t entertain these girls who try to iron out the details of an arrangement before she even meets you for a date. These are the girls you need to weed out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

They’re the ones who will ask you how much you’ll pay to go out with them or what kinds of gifts or donations you bring to dates.

 

They’re the ones who will want to know the exact dollar amount they can expect to have transferred into their PayPal accounts before you even get to the third message.

 

They’re the ones who would be more than happy to draft up an ironclad legal document detailing the terms and conditions of the arrangement… if they could afford a lawyer.

 

Delete them.

 

I typically will allow 1-2 gold digging comments before I throw her into the escort bucket and delete her from my inbox. These girls aren’t what I’m looking for. Lucky for us, the numbers are in our favor. These girls are a minority and you should feel no hesitation to walk away from them. 

 

You can also tell a lot about a girl by looking at the date and year she signed up for the site. You’ll have more success with the girls who are newer. 

 

You’re doing things on your terms, not hers. What we have here gentlemen is a buyer’s market. And it’s vastly overcrowded with what she’s selling.

 

The Date and Logistical Hurdles

I remember my first Seeking Arrangement date like it was yesterday. I won’t lie, I was slightly nervous. But as I was getting ready I realized that she should be the one who’s nervous, not me. I’m the intimidating millionaire. I’m the one who fearlessly calls the shots and who isn’t afraid to walk away from bad deals.

 

I got into my role-playing state of mind, treated it like a normal date, and had her in bed by the end of the night.

 

It’s worth noting that I live in a two bedroom apartment and have a roommate. I drive a ten year old Honda.  These visible parts of my lifestyle don’t exactly scream “millionaire”. So I have to find a way around them.

 

I typically just tell the girls that I own the place and rent out the spare bedroom to one of my buddies. I say it with a casual confidence and they’ve never questioned it. Even as we walk past the big sign that says “Leasing Center” indicating the building is actually full of rental units rather than for-sale condominiums.

 

As for the faithful old Honda, I imagine in this situation it would be a bigger cockblock than a full-scale herpes outbreak. So they never see it. I live walking distance to some bars so we walk somewhere nearby or we take Uber.

 

You’ll have to think through your own individual logistics challenges and come up with solutions. But worse-case scenario, you can take her to a hotel bar. If things are looking good, go to the bathroom and book the hotel room on your phone using Expedia. Then discreetly grab the keys at the lobby when you can.

 

So as the date progresses, you’ll seed the idea of going upstairs to your room to watch some amazing show that you’re currently hooked on or whatever. And if she seems down, book the room.

 

The Endgame

In the 21st century, you no longer have to be a millionaire or a rockstar to have the sex life of one. Why should pretty girls be the only ones that get to have all the fun and excitement in life? Oh and please don’t try to sell me the idea of a Sugar Mama. That market doesn’t exist (nor would I want it to).

 

If you decide to give this crazy world a go, I think you’ll find that most of the girls you go out with are pleasant and fun. They’re looking for a good time and are happy with just a nice date and some good sex. They will follow your lead.. if you have the will to lead.

 

If you’re an average-looking younger guy then you’re going to be a welcome change of pace for her. By the time you hit send, she’s probably already received dozens of desperate messages from older gentlemen who bare frightening resemblance to her creepy step-uncle. I once made a fake female account to check what the competition was like, and it ain’t good.

 

With salt dating, I can’t promise every date will be a positive experience. But you’ll certainly have your fair share of interesting stories to tell. God knows I have mine. But that’s a book I’ve yet to write.

 

When the rules of the game say you’re not allowed to play, I say fuck the rules and hack the game.

 

 

 

Note: I’m currently writing a book chronicling my experiences in the sugar dating world. If you have some interesting stories of your own then I would encourage you to take the survey through the link below – All input is welcome, both male and female, both fans and haters. Your name will be kept anonymous. 

Take the 13-question survey here

 

 

Read Next: Sugar Babies Found My Blog And Went Ballistic

 

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  • Joel Sanchez

    do you think seeking arrangement might have the same problem that ashey madison had, after they were hacked it could pretty much be determined through statistics that probably 80% of all female accounts were fake,,,so it was just a site with a bunch of dudes looking mainly through fake profiles

    • SA hasn’t been hacked in the literal sense of the word. In this sense it just means not playing by their rules.

      • Joel Sanchez

        so most girls on there are real

  • kofybean

    “The girls are really nice to you.”
    I thought it was just me who noticed this.

    • I think once a girl enters the sugar dating world it can forever change how she views men and relationships. Normal dating becomes a complete waste of time. Why would she date someone if she’s not going to be compensated for it? Why would she waste time messaging a guy on Tinder knowing full well there aren’t any financial benefits that go along with that? These women will reduce themselves to commodities that can be bought and sold. Or rented for a quick lease.

      • kofybean

        I don’t think the sugar dating world changes the way a woman views a man, but betrays the way she already felt about them, causing her to seek out a venue that caters to her views.

        I just spent a half hour in the holiday post office line chatting with the woman in front of me. To her, it was just passing the time, as she initiated the conversation, but to a SB I would be a user and predator as I didn’t pay this lady afterward.

        If a person feels they need to be compensated for existing, and conducting normal human behavior, then a website didn’t make them that way.

        But it kinda makes sense why some women can be so mean and dismissive in normal dating circumstances, especially online. Normal human interaction holds no value to them. If you go back and read everything they say with that in mind, then there is no mystery behind who they are.

  • Sujit Sharma

    yeah man sounds great but I’m calling BULLSHIT

    • A big part of me wishes that it was

    • Bullshit at every level. The guys.. and the girls… that are into this… even when it “works” (if it works)… no thanks.

      A sneaky dirtbag lying his way into bed with would-be prostitutes… not exactly glamorous.

      • Some of these would-be prostitutes are the same ones you’ve likely worked your ass off to date. This is also about raising awareness.

        https://thecitybachelor.com/princessprostitute-paradox-observing-sugar-babies-wild/

        • I work my ass off… to be a solid guy and to create opportunities for me and women (IRL). From there… girls fall into the funnel (or they don’t). And then… I date girls that I don’t have to “work my ass off” for.

          If you know women… if you’re “working your ass off” for a particular girl, you’re already losing. That’s not how it works. We work on ourselves, true. Working for a given girl… always a sign something is wrong (and probably you).

          To be honest… I talked to 100+ girls per month, and have, for years. I have a good sense for women…

          I don’t date “would be prostitutes.” That’s the antithesis of what I’m about.

          Prostitutes… are for guys that can’t do what a proper daygamer can do.

  • brandyboy

    They charge like $80/mo bullshit

    • That’s true. And I’m sure they have plans to eventually raise it to $100

      The paywall is what prevents the site from crumbling due to too many salt daddies

      • brandyboy

        Yea I made an account and got over 50 messages already. But smart on the site creators for doing the pay to play system. Do you have a premium account?

        • I’ve done 4 or 5 months of premium. It’s worth it.

          • The Informer

            What about the background check? How do you pass that?

      • brandyboy

        I don’t think I’m gonna sign up for it as logistics aren’t in favor, but this has been super insightful experiment to confirm red pill theory that I already knew. Also, your site is awesome man. I tell my friends to check it out. I hope you can start monetizing soon if you haven’t already.

        • Thanks I appreciate it. Salt dating was one of the most life changing things that ever happened to me. A lot of uncomfortable truths were revealed. Kind of makes you realize that money wins out over “love” just about every time.

          • The Informer

            I am seriously beginning to question whether women are even capable of love. Some of them can muster up some love for their own children, but if it gets too hectic, they just drown them in the bath and plead insanity. Or dump the newborn baby in the trash and walk away like they just threw out an unwanted McD takeout. Women complain about male abuse, but they should take a good long hard look at themselves in the mirror. Women are the most brutal creatures alive and like psychopaths, they disguise their evil behind a beautiful facade, sweet words and smiles, which drop the moment your back is turned.

    • The Informer

      yeah, it’s outrageous. you can rent a dedicated server for a month for less.

  • Alex

    Well….
    Curiosity got the better of me, I signed up and just had a look in locations where I often frequented.

    I found my long term partner was using it and it was quite clearly the source of her income rather than her regular visits to “Mother who pays for everything”.

    I haven’t brought it up with her yet, but wow…

    • I’m really sorry to hear that but the good news is that you discovered the betrayal before you ended up marrying her or anything like that.

      Salt dating was the ultimate red pill lesson for me. The truth is that with most people today, monogamy is going to be a sham that just causes people to lie, cheat, and try to have their cake and eat it too.

      Now you can leave her behind and be reborn as a new man.

    • Chip Baskets

      You could end things
      Or, become her pimp.
      She wants you to be her pump.

    • The Informer

      Yeah, my ex-gf is completely broke has no discernible source of income, yet she is still able to party almost continuously and take drugs. But she visits between 3 & 4 different male friends, that she fucks, and who no doubt shell out for her visits. There are so many fucking whores sponging off men, sticking around only where the money is flowing towards them.

  • Shanghai Bobby

    Hi Brock,

    With your SDD experience, have you ever tried a profile where you explicitly say “I don’t pay for female company?”

    I live in New Zealand, and if I compare my profile with my friend’s in Europe, we both explicitly state we don’t pay for female company. He’s been using SA for a while, and has gotten 3 lays via this method. I only just started, but am reluctant to pay for premium, as we have the same amount of messages, but mine are 80% delusional 4’s pretending to be 7+.

    All of his are 8+…

    Makes me just want to cry – New Zealand is genuinely the most horrible place on earth for attractive women…

    Cheers,
    SB

    • I’ve never tried that but it sounds like it would be a good way to weed out the money-girls. But it could also turn away some girls that you otherwise would have still been able to hook up with. Either way might be worth a try

  • Josh Marks

    I find often when you take these sugar babies out they bring up arrangement when you are in the bedroom with blue balls, and your hormones are in torpedo mode…..

    • That’s only happened a small number of times in my experience. If it’s a curious-girl rather than a money-girl then I’m usually able to take her mind away from the money aspect by keeping the vibe fun and sensual.

      • The Informer

        but how do you fob them off? i mean the girl will be there with her hand out expecting to get paid right there on the spot in cash, like a hooker. some of these girls have drug habits they need cash for and if you hand over the cash, they’ll excuse themselves to go do something outside the room and that’s the last you will see of them as they run with your money leaving you with nothing but the hotel bill to pay.

  • Money buys everything. This masterpiece proves it. Again.

  • Tahra

    You are so disgusting.

    Coming from a woman who has used this site. Sugar dating sites have experienced a metamorphosis from what it was before. It’s glamorized and mainstream and any old guy thinks he can utilize this. Some women as well, who are merely window shopping and don’t know any better. However, that does not give you the right to exploit the women here. Yes, women have always been in demand on usual dating sites, but guess what?

    We still are.

    You act like a duck. Talk like a duck. Walk like a duck.

    As a woman, my experience will be severely different than yours. However, I know many women that are searching for a guiding person, not to be taken advantage of with the lure of a potential arrangement. They want to meet people that can help them and bolster their success professionally.

    Who are you to fool them?

    Once again, absolutely disgusting.

    • Finding a man who will be straight with you and open his wallet is hard on sugar daddy sites. It’s an unregulated black market.

      If you want transparency and honesty in your sexual transactions, I would encourage you to opt for a regulated marketplace.

      Ya know, a brothel.

    • The Informer

      Exploit women? Baloney. Women who demand payment for sex are the exploiters. If men are forced to con women in order to get them to sleep with them, then that’s more an indictment of the exploitive and manipulative mindset of the urban female predator. She doesn’t work for her money. Spreading your legs and getting fucked is not work, it’s pleasure. Men actually work hard for their money and why should we toss it away on spoilt women who laze around all day getting sexually pleased?

      You want money? Get an education. Gain employment or start your own business and work hard for it. This is why men do not respect women, because they think they are entitled to easy money for doing nothing but enjoying themselves sexually.

  • nina

    Wow, so you have to do all this to get a fuck. It must feel horrible to lie about your wealth and social status.
    As a user of SA, I pity guys like you. I’ve been smart enough to avoid them but it sounds so desperate it makes me feel sorry for you, not only for the poor girls that believe whatever the’re told.

    • The Informer

      yeah? well, it’s an arms race, because your side has articles on how to spot salt daddies. You don’t deserve our money. If you want money, go work for it, like we do.

      • Alicia Raquel

        says the broke guy who has to trick women into having sex with him LOL

        • The Informer

          I have money, but I don’t give it to whores. I spend my money on those I love, not those I fuck.

          • Alicia Raquel

            As a woman with a ton of male friends, I’ve never seen any of them stoop this low to have sex with someone. It’s creepy to say the least. Like why not get women by being yourself? Obviously that hasn’t worked too well if you’re having to trick people.

          • The Informer

            I’m not involved in any of this. I’m just commenting on a forum. I have never tricked any woman into having sex with me. i don’t use the sugar daddy site and would never

          • Alicia Raquel

            But you have no issue defending it ..ok lol

          • The Informer

            the women and men are both guilty. neither side is right. women complain about the behaviour of men, but women also prey on men. i get approached by female scammers online all the time. i think it’s really stupid for young women to willingly offer themselves up to men who are highly likely to be sexual predators. not smart at all. even if they get paid, they’re still being raped.

  • The Informer

    Your comparison of how women treat men like shit on tinder vs on SA was enlightening. I know what you mean. When women think they’re in for a pay day, they can be as sweet as sugar, but it’s still a fucking veneer. It’s a complete fucking sham. They’re not nice people at all. The real them is the shrew on tinder, treating men like shit because in reality she despises them. She views men as worms to be manipulated. Her sweetness on SA is pure unadulterated manipulation designed to extract money. She is a predator through and through. She is garbage.

  • Abelardo Dias

    Great article! But I think it’s missing a last part about what comes next.
    How do you smoothly dump the girl?

    I had just had a date in which I managed to avoid money talk all night long. She slept here and I can really tell she has a good time. But the next day, before she left, the inevitable talk came up and not knowing what to do, I said we should discuss it online or in our next date, which I don’t intend to have.

    I also don’t want her to be to meet at me and scream at me if she sees me in the street or something, hahaha.

    Any tips?

    • Frank Petersen

      you did pretty good staling her

    • Frank Petersen

      but I have the question what does Brook Robinson do ?

    • Alicia Raquel

      Are you guys really that desperate that you have to trick people into having sex with you? This article was cringe worthy to say the least.

  • Tanya Headley

    Men care about sex, women about money…that is the real reason why marrying for love is foolish sin it tends to vanish with the time, the real pourpuse of marriage was to secure and improve stability and for the next generations. This is why women should go older and men younger, so each one can get what they really need. I know it sounds hard but numbers don’t lie.

  • Miriam Slozberg

    This is all interesting and I got all of the answers I needed. This answers so many questions that I had about someone. And before you assume this is really about me, well no. I’m not a fit nor would I be interested. I’m middle aged, overweight and been married for 18 years, have 2 kids one having profound special needs.

  • Frank Petersen

    Very interesting and I have to an Urge to hack the game like you… Good info thanks!

    How did you get the criminal background check or you used your name?

  • Frank Petersen

    How did you get around the criminal background check or did they not do any criminal background check?

  • Frank Petersen

    Also aren’t there a place on the seeking arrangements site a place for the girls to let other girls know about you not paying them? Sugar and not Salt….

    I have never been on the site yet but I’m thinking about it because of your story

  • Frank Petersen

    I just did everything you guided me to do and I’m paying for 1 month, and I texted my first girl and my question is what do I do if we go to the hotel room and she asks for money? Tell her I’m still undecided? That she will get it after? That I’m only paying if we have chemistry in bed? What do you do?

  • Mary

    I also want to write a book, but about how women can successfully exploit the male desperation and use them as financial commodities similar to how men use women for sex. I’ve been a sugar baby for over a year now and absolutely love it. It’s no secret I do it for the money, and I’m not only smart about it, but very successful. Fuck your “Salt” Daddy, I will blackmail the shit out of you and destroy you if you rip me off. I’m more powerful than God and Trump put together bitch.

  • Dude… just checking your site out, and this is my “first impression” of you. Wow.

    >> As of 2016, I would estimate that less than 10% of attractive women have or have had sugar daddies. But as this trend grows and becomes more accepted, we can expect that figure to rise drastically.

    10% of attractive women? That’s ridiculous.

    Most QUALITY women won’t want to lie about their hustling dollars for pussy… let alone actually do it.

    QUALITY women have so many real offers, from “legit” guys… why would they need this at all? Thinking this is the path to anything but the most trainwreck of girls… is insanity.

    This is beyond anti-game. Super sad.