Why Should You Read Up On Game?
I think it’s common for guys to have certain hang-ups about reading game. Many of us seem to be indoctrinated with this belief that being attractive to the opposite sex is something that’s supposed to be 100% innate. It’s supposed to be something that we’re just born with and isn’t something we can develop with outside knowledge. Learning tips on how to seduce women is manipulative and creepy, right? It’s all a fake act and if you have to actually read a book on how to get laid then you are the world’s most pathetic loser.
Get that shit out of your head right now. Game = human psychology. Do you feel embarrassed and ashamed when you crack open a psychology textbook and start learning what makes humans tick? Of course not. So why should it be any different when you learn about attraction and seduction?
I’m not saying you should go around and tell all of your friends, family, and co-workers the new “negs” you’ve learned recently. But don’t let your ego stand in the way of developing yourself into the best, most attractive man you can be.
Here’s a quote from Bang
“No more than 10% of men have an innate ability to talk to girls, to build attraction, and to rack up more notches in a year than most men get in their lifetimes. To them, playing the game isn’t work – it’s like hanging out with friends. For reasons you can maybe trace to their genes, parents, or childhood, they became very good with women and possess a skill so ingrained that they can’t even explain what it is they do.
So what options do the other 90% have, like myself? Do I settle for fat, ugly women? Do I wait until I meet a homely girl at work to marry? Do I get rich in the hopes that I can use my wealth to land a hot but shallow girl? Or do I study the game like I would study a subject in school?”
That Being Said..
If game is a new concept to you, you’re probably starting to see that there has been a massive amount of material put out on the subject in the last decade or so. The idea of game in general has been controversial ever since The Game by Neil Strauss was released back in 2005. I discovered this world by complete chance in 2011 right around my 21st birthday.
At that point in my life, my success with women could probably best be described as mediocre. I had slept with maybe 10 or so girls at that point but it always seemed like my success was the result of the stars and planets aligning just right. I was getting lucky from time to time. But I wasn’t making my own luck. I’d put myself out there in social situations and occasionally (in between long dry spells) a woman would choose me.
But everything changed when I learned game. Game is the underlying “how” and “why” girls hook up with the guys they hook up with. It’s about unlearning weak and needy habits that are ruining your chances at success without you even realizing it. It’s acknowledging that people are animals with primal biological drivers motivating their dating behavior. And once you fundamentally understand all of that, the world is your oyster.
Bang by Roosh V
This wasn’t the first book I read on game. But I wish it would have been because it functions as such a great initiation to the subject. I remember randomly seeing a paperback copy of Bang lying around my college fraternity house in fall 2011 and became intrigued by its simple book cover.
Bang is probably the best introductory book on the market. It’s very much “101” material as in it’s written for guys who have recently discovered game within the last couple of years. But it’s also a great refresher even for men who have been game-aware for 10+ years.
The material is presented in an easy to grasp linear model.
This is what’s going on inside your head. Your thoughts and beliefs either limit you or guide you in being successful. This is where game begins – your belief system. You must develop an unshakable confidence before you can go out there and successfully start pulling numbers into your phone and dates back to your apartment. You must not fear failure but embrace it as a learning mechanism. And you must dispel limiting-beliefs.
“Let’s take a look at the average beta male. His number one defining trait is a fear of going after what he desires. He doesn’t pursue what he wants because he doesn’t think he’s capable of getting it. He worries about other people’s needs before his own. He quietly accepts being disrespected. He seeks out his identity in areas unrelated to his masculinity, such as his cubicle job. He’s passive in bed and waits for permission before escalating to intimacy. He rationalizes his failure with women (and life) by attributing it to reasons outside of his control. He believes the best way to be successful with women is having incredibly good looks and lots of money.”
Once you’ve got the proper mindset in place, you’re ready to start approaching and getting phone numbers. Bang goes well into detail about how to stand out and command attention in a high energy venue such as a bar or club. Early game is all about cutting through the noise and distractions and getting women attracted to you. Approaching and getting a girl interested in you are the first steps. Bang teaches men how to act, what to say, and most importantly how to say it.
“The approach is the most important part of your game. If you master only one skill, it should be the approach. No matter how much of a loser you may think you are right now, learning to approach will automatically increase what you’ve gotten before. There are girls out there who will sleep with you while both conscious and sober, but not until you approach them. Even if you approach with absolutely zero game and without the ability to construct a complete sentence, there’s going to be at least one girl who will bang you because you happened to catch her at the right moment.”
Middle & Late Game
Roosh defines this part of the process as after you get her phone number and are moving into getting her out out on a date. Middle game begins once you got a girl attracted enough to get her number, now you need to sustain and amplify that to get her on a date and ideally back to your place.
Bang breaks down all the different dynamics of a successful date, venue changes, and a few routines that can be thought of as training wheels if you’re new.
“The Strawberry game is an example of kokology, a Japanese pseudo-science that is supposed to tell you things you didn’t know about yourself by answering situational questions. For instance, if I ask you to imagine walking through a woods, then ask you to tell me what it was like and you say it was a tropical rain forest, that means you’re ambitious and always looking for adventure. Sounds silly, right? But these types of games, like palm reading and horoscopes, are like crack to a woman. They’re effective at relaxing her into a n imaginative mood to help her forget about her everyday problems. They also increase rapport and add to the I’ve-know-you-longer-than-I-really-have feeling.”
Late Game is all about sealing the deal after putting in the work of getting your internal state of mind where it needs to be, learning the basics of what’s attractive to women, and building comfort and trust on a date.
“What type of man gets rewarded with the most sex? An alpha male with two important skill sets. The first set makes women desire him through the use of game, in the form of personality, routines, and moves. This creates attraction, trust, comfort, and rapport. While the strawberry game, for example, won’t do much on its own, it’s powerful in creating sexual interest when used with other game components. The second skill set is persistence, which capitalizes on a woman’s impulsive nature. Your persistence is firm but not desperate, and you understand that women need more encouragement than men when it comes to sex.”
Bang is one of my all-time favorite books on how to develop yourself into a more attractive man. Although this book was written in 2007, before the dawn of dating apps and smartphones, and there are a few lightly outdated sections in the book such as telephone calls, it’s probably still the best beginner resource out there. While technology changes the dating scene, the fundamentals of how to attract and seduce don’t change. Even if you’ve been reading up on game for awhile, I’d say you still owe it to yourself to read one of the classics.
Click below to learn more about the book.