When I was growing up, I always thought that the prime of my life would be over by the time I turned 25. And I figured by the time I was 30, I would cave to the pressures pushing me to settle down, get married, buy an affordable house 45 minutes away from the city, have kids, and start a life that was no longer really my own.
When I was young, I figured that since most people have kids by their early 30’s, I would fall into the same lifestyle by default. I remember being a teenager and thinking that I was being “new-age” for lack of a better word, just by saying I wanted to wait until my early 30s to have kids. I figured, I want to at least enjoy my 20’s first and have some freedom and experience some things before settling down.
As time went on, I began thinking, 30 is going to sneak up on me before I know it, and I don’t think I’ll have accomplished everything I wanted to accomplish by then. As I got older, I decided that I wanted to wait until 35 to have kids. Now the older I get, 40 sounds like an even better age to settle down, if I decide that’s what I even want to do.
Why settle down when I can ride this wave of freedom and bachelorhood well into my 40s? When I was in high school and in college, a big motivating factor for getting a girlfriend, was so that I could be having consistent and steady sex. No more dry spells. When I had a girlfriend, I didn’t have to go months without getting any action like I did when I was single, at least that’s how it was when I was age 16-21.
But in 2015, with average looks, good game, and good logistics, my lifestyle is now at a point where I believe I would be getting less sex if I were in a committed relationship with one girl rather than if I stayed single. I don’t say this to brag, but I’ve gotten my life to a point where my supply of sex exceeds my demand for it. However, if we’re being honest, this is more a result of technology than it is my own skill level. I’ve definitely improved my game to a point where I don’t have to think much about it anymore, but I have to recognize that the technology we have today opens doors (and legs) that I never would have had access to had I lived in another time.
We have these apps that take all available girls within 100 miles, and deliver them right to us. At our fingertips we have thousands on top of thousands of possibilities. With numbers like that and some decent game to go along with it, all you have to do is keep swiping until one of them pans out.
Some apps take it a step further and allow you to set your location to anywhere in the world, allowing you to sample the females of any city you’d like. When you travel, you can put in your text game work 2-3 weeks before you arrive to your destination, and then reap what you sow when you arrive.
Just as if you are shotgun blasting a resume out to thousands of employers online, we can now reach out, expand the circle of possibilities, and get more lays than our fathers and grandfathers ever dreamed of just by utilizing the exposure that the modern dating apps give us.
Why settle down when sex is that easy?
Some might say for love or for a meaningful emotional connection. Something deeper. But I think an adverse effect of online dating going mainstream is that more and more girls are becoming ultra-promiscuous and hooking up on a scale that their mothers and grandmother’s would have found horrifying. I believe “floozy” was the word our grandmothers used to describe a woman who gave herself away too easily to a man. Fast forward to today and we live in a nation of floozies. This is great for the bachelor. But what about for the man who wants to eventually settle down? Should he just accept that his wife has had dozens of sexual partners? Should he just be okay knowing that the woman he loves gave herself away to dozens of drunk men who didn’t respect her? Should he just see it as an oppressive double standard that his wife is held to a different set of courting expectations than he is as a man? Or should he want a woman that makes men earn her? Are these women a dying breed?
I think as time goes on, we’ll continue to see more and more men opting out of marriage and long-term relationships in general. Because where are the women worth committing to? Where are the women that can commit? Not on Tinder.
But we can still look at things on the bright side – A man’s life doesn’t have to end at 30 anymore. If you’re single and free, if you use your 20’s to build an internet presence, monetize it, and break out of corporate servitude to live life on your own terms, then maybe it’s more like your life doesn’t truly begin until you’re 30.