Do you have a dating question or funny dating story? Email your questions and stories to contact@thecitybachelor.com with the subject ‘Dating Advice’ or ‘Dating Story’

 

Hey Brock –

 

Been reading your blog so thought I’d write in a question I’ve been asking myself lately.

 

Started dating this girl about two months ago. She’s really cool and it’s always a good time when we’re alone together. But lately I’ve noticed that when we go out to bars with our friends, I always see her chatting up other guys at some point in the night. I always play it cool and make sure to not look jealous, but it’s starting to get on my nerves and I feel a confrontation coming.

 

What would you do in my situation?

 


 

This is definitely something every guy is going to have to deal with at some point in his life. Good job on keeping your cool and not showing any jealousy, something that will surely turn her off in the early phases of dating.

 

Here are a few steps I would take if I were you:

 

Keep Your Guard Up

Make sure the girl you’ve got on your hands right now is trustworthy and has potential to be loyal in the future. In the first few months, it’s important that you stay observant and look for any possible red flags to leak out. 4-6 months is a good time frame for that to happen. Keep a listening ear out for the way she talks to other guys and use your best judgement to determine if it is actual flirting or just harmless chat. Remember that if you confront her she will always claim the latter so there’s really no point in confrontation this early unless it’s completely blatant.

Don’t forget that a girl who will flirt in front of your face is a girl who will cheat behind your back. For now, keep the interaction fun and light-hearted, keep being that charming mother fucker that got her interested in the first place, and let her be the one to take things to an emotional level over time.

 

Make Her The Jealous One

It’s important to maintain the dynamic of the girl who is the one quick to get jealous. She should be working to tame you and to get you to settle down for her – never the other way around. Next time you’re out at the bars with your group of friends, let her see you having a harmless chat with the opposite sex. There’s an important balancing act here because you must be able to maintain plausible deniability if she confronts you. If it shows that you are blatantly flirting or deliberately trying to make her jealous then it will blow up in your face.

When you’re out, just let it show that you are a social guy who girls don’t mind having conversations with. At the bar, always be the guy who’s pointing little things out, making observations, and asking curious questions about your surroundings (even if you already know the answer). Don’t be a wallflower.  

If she confronts you, you can say “Oh we were just talking. I just asked her what she was drinking because it looked interesting” and then be fun and playful towards your girl and show her a good time. Make her work a little for your full attention.

 

Endgame

At some point, if she has proven herself to be trustworthy and loyal, flirting with other men simply won’t be acceptable if you’re in a committed relationship with her. Unfortunately, I don’t believe there is any logical conversation you can have or compelling argument you can make to a girl that will change her flirtatious behavior towards other men and get her focus back on you.

Instead, you’ll have to take the more subtle route of letting your charming persona and attractive behavior draw her in. Whatever level of flirting she is giving to other men, match it or exceed it just ever so slightly with other women. And if her behavior really is unacceptable, always be willing to walk away. Often times to get the girl, you’ve got to be willing to risk losing her.

 

Do you have a dating question or funny dating story? Email your questions and stories to contact@thecitybachelor.com with the subject ‘Dating Advice’ or ‘Dating Story’

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