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A subscriber to the newsletter recently wrote in:
Saw you in the ROK comment thread and went over to the blog- read all of it, very entertaining.
I’m 35, based in Brooklyn. Self-employed (have websites that make money passively) – in a rut with women ever since my last breakup with a girlfriend from college 3 years ago.
In essence- I’m allergic to night game, am fed up with online dating, and haven’t been day gaming either (very much a NYer in the ignore-everyone-at-all-costs mentality).
I don’t drink, either. I’m certainly not bad looking- 5’10”, fit, don’t dress like a lunatic, and my ‘game’ isn’t lousy- it’s really that I’m not creating the volume of opportunities with women for myself to learn and achieve. I’ve read Roosh’s Bang series– so I know that’s probably what I have to do, but I’m just not doing it.
I did join a Yoga studio in my neighborhood and that might be somewhat fruitful. I used to do a ton of networking- all sorts of NYC events, so I’m not a n00b meeting and greeting people, but even in that arena I rarely met the quality of woman I’m interested in.
That’s my situation in a nutshell. The goal is to get more volume of women passing through my life so that I can learn to manage and deal with them better, probably to ultimately select one to have a family with.
I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog and that’s awesome that you’re self-employed. It sounds like you were in a relationship for most of your 20s and you’re not against getting back into one relatively soon. But it also sounds like you’re having trouble finding the motivation to get out there and deal with all the crap that comes with meeting lots of women. Understandable.
I’m burned out on night game too. It’s a low return on your investment of time, energy, and money and when you’ve got business goals you want to pursue during the day, night game pulls you away from that.
I do like the online methods since you can line up dates without having to run the gauntlet that is night game. But of course the quality of the women on the dating apps isn’t that great.
It sounds like day game and lifestyle game are your best avenues. Create a lifestyle that puts your face in front of a lot of women. And then use your day game skills as a complement to that. This is also probably your best bet at meeting quality women.
Since you have the freedom to do what you want with most of your time (and you live in what’s arguably the best American city for dating), why not venture into another neighborhood and try your hand at Lost Tourist game? Ask a cute girl if there’s a good sushi spot or local coffeeshop nearby while mentioning you’re not too familiar with the area.
When she gives a recommendation, you can follow up by saying something to the effect of, “Cool thanks – yeah there’s pretty much a coffeeshop on every block over in my neighborhood so I feel a bit out of place over here”.
If you say this in a friendly manner (don’t want to give off pretentious my-neighborhood-is-better-than-yours vibes) eventually a girl will bite and ask you where you’re from. Make it a goal to do these types of daytime approaches a few times a week.
The yoga classes you plan on taking would probably be a good way to create a lifestyle where you naturally meet women. Although I’ve never personally done a yoga class so couldn’t say for sure. However, I have done some cardio classes that tend to draw more women than men. Orange Theory Fitness is in every major American city and usually has 3 girls to every guy. There’s ten minutes or so before the class starts where everyone is just sitting around and you can use that time to get to know people.
This type of lifestyle game is admittedly something I don’t have a ton of experience in but I could see myself getting into it more in the future. Best of luck and let me know how it goes.