With the recent mainstream shift in dating to online venues, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that a man’s looks are becoming a more important part of his success with women. Now it is true that some shortcomings in aesthetics can be made up for with confidence, game, status, value, etc. But of course, it can be difficult to communicate those things in the three seconds or less that a woman spends on visually deciding whether you’re a “no” or a “maybe”. The more you get your “looks game” in top form, the less time you’ll have to spend actively pursuing women. And the more you can enjoy the occasional leisure of “don’t fuck it up” game.
When it comes to your looks, you’re basically in a situation of playing the hand you were dealt as best you can. But with that being said, you can take some comfort in knowing that the vast majority of other men are living far below their full aesthetic potential. Don’t be one of them.
You owe it to yourself to do everything reasonably possible to push your look to it’s full capacity. Here are some easy and a couple not-so-easy ways to do it.
We’ll quickly touch on the most important one that you probably assumed I would harp on. It also happens to be the hardest one. A full breakdown on the importance of a good body and how to get one is beyond the scope of a blog post. But I’ll tell you the most life-changing thing for me as it relates to working out was habit. You must treat exercise as a near daily routine akin to brushing your teeth. It’s not a special event. It’s just something that you do. It took me 8 years of half-ass exercise before I finally discovered the routine that works best for me: The lunch workout.
I hate getting up early to workout. I hate working out in the evenings after a long day. So after a near-decade of lazily working out 1-3 days a week and never seeing results, I finally realized the value of using my lunch break at work to get it done. It only takes me 5 minutes to eat my lunch anyways. So working out before or after a light lunch breaks up my day into two nice sections. I no longer sit on my ass for 8 straight hours and have stiff legs come 5PM. I no longer dread going to the gym since it doesn’t cut into my valuable morning or evening time. For the first time in my life, I actually look forward to and enjoy the gym because it’s better than sitting around the office or hitting up crap fast food with co-workers.
Find a routine that works and make it a habit just like brushing your teeth, showering, or some other crucial daily routine. It’s just as important. Treat it that way.
I would also highly recommend The 4 Hour Body by Tim Ferriss
Some bullshit, isn’t it?
Somehow it’s okay to openly judge men on their height (even though it’s 100% genetic and non-controllable). But it’s wrong and heartless to ever mention weight? Something that is within the realm of control?
But hey life’s not fair. I won’t complain about it. Instead, I’ll just wear shoes and insoles that bring my average height of 5’8 to a more advantageous 5’11. Of course, if any girl asks me the shallow height question, I’m rounding up to that magic number 6’0.
I highly recommend Thursday Boot Company. They add an additional 1.25 inches.
I also highly recommend these height-increasing insoles. They add an additional 2 inches.
Note: go a half size up on your normal shoe size to accommodate space needed for the insoles.
I’ve gotten to the point where I wear these boots and insoles every single day. I wear them to work. I wear them to parties. I sure as shit wear them on dates. Occasionally someone you know may point out that you look taller since it does give you a 3 and 1/4 inch boost. I always just say, “yeah these shoes make me a little taller” and that’s the end of it. Nobody suspects I have insoles adding even more height than the actual shoes.
A lot of men write this one off as effeminate and unnecessary. But the obvious truth is people look better with a tan than they do being pasty white. If you’re fair skinned then having a tan will give you more confidence and attract more women, period. However, most working adults don’t have the time to lay out in the sun several days a week to accomplish this. And if you don’t want to subject yourself to the tanning bed, that’s understandable too.
I apply this sunless tanning lotion to my face several times a week and it keeps me from looking like a vampire on dates.
When it comes to clothing and style, everyone seems to have very particular and subjective advice that they dole out to the entire world population. They’ll tell you exactly what types of shirts to wear. Whether you should be wearing skinny or relaxed fit jeans. Whether you should wear V necks or crew necks. And whether certain brands are outdated or still popular to wear.
The truth about clothing and style is that it is wholly dependent on your age range and environment that you find yourself in. A 33 year old man in a large urban center on the west coast is going to have a completely different style than a 21 year old college student in a deep south fraternity.
Your style is going to change as you age. It will also be influenced by your environment and the decade that you live in. However, I think it’s safe to say there are some classic elements of style that remain timeless. I’ve used the blog Real Men Real Style as a reference point for many years now and I see them as a sort of personal style consultant.
Teeth & Hair
Unless you take action, your teeth are probably going to look a lot less appealing than they could, especially if you love coffee like I do. I spend about ten minutes a day with a teeth whitening kit and it brightens them right up.
As for your hair, you do have to wear it every single day. So you want to make sure it looks good. Skip the twenty-dollar, twenty minute haircuts and go to a place that puts a little more time into one of the most important aspects of your look. You don’t need to spend obscene amounts on hair cuts, but probably something in between $50 and $100 will get you looking sharp. You get what you pay for. As for product, every man’s hair is different. But I like a high hold/low shine matte paste. I’ve tried everything under the sun and I keep coming back to my #1 favorite American Crew – Fiber. You’ll definitely want to buy online as it can get upwards of $20 in the grocery stores.
Everyday, I’m sure you can spot men walking around who are living far below their full aesthetic potential. Your duty as a man is to push yourself as close to 100% of your full potential as you can.
This includes hard work over long periods of time as well as quick and easy fixes you can make right now. Don’t spend another day living below what you’re capable of.