Occasionally I’ll get asked by a reader for advice on how he can get with a girl that he works with.
Unfortunately, I have to give the reminder that the workplace is probably the worst place for meeting girls.
Here are three reasons why your time and energy is better spent elsewhere.
Not Worth The Effort
If for some reason you did decide to try and date a coworker then you probably already realize you’re forced to play the slow game.
You can’t be ballsy in the workplace and make suggestive, attraction-building comments, intimate subtle touches, and charming playful teases that are necessary to escalate the interaction into a sexual tone.
Instead, you are resigned to taking it slow and getting to know way too much about her over a long period of time which will most likely cause her perception of you to go platonic. Because too much time has passed without you making a move or doing anything to instill desire, you’ll be boxed into the friend zone instead of seen as a potential lover.
While you play the slow game, you’ll also have the pleasure of knowing that there’s some dude on Bumble who could give her a swipe, send her 6 messages, buy her two rounds of drinks and get her into bed all within a couple of hours. All the while, you’re stuck in the labor-intensive orbiter role spending months of energy to make small bits of progress.
Don’t waste your time. Instead, put her in YOUR friendzone. Don’t make any blatant advances and just be her friend. Entertain each other as you grind through the boring work days. Then invite her (along with other coworker friends) to a pregame, happy hour, or party and then that way you’ll eventually be able to meet her friends that she has outside of work.
You Can’t Control How Often You See Her
If you make an approach at the bar and it blows up in your face, it doesn’t really matter. Unless it’s a small local bar where everyone knows everyone.
But most nightlife scenes are a random shuffle of names you’ll never remember and faces you’ll never see again.
This means that if you make a mistake or if something goes bad, your reputation remains intact since none of those people even know who you are.
So anyone who has a negative perception of you doesn’t really matter since you won’t be seeing them again. This should give you an extra layer of confidence knowing that it’s okay to make a mistake and say something dumb that blows up in your face. This is how you learn.
But if you do this in the workplace where you have to see the same people over and over, you can quickly destroy your reputation and create an awkward situation in which you can’t easily walk away.
It’s Far Too Risky
All of America is on edge now when it comes to courtship because of degenerate celebrities and corrupted people in power who abuse their status to sleep with those underneath them.
If there wasn’t enough reason to not date a coworker, the #MeToo movement should provide enough disincentive for men to never flirt with a girl in the office ever again.
It’s not worth jeopardizing your income because Ashley in accounting keeps giving you the eyes.
The days of relationships starting the workplace are long gone. We won’t hear any more stories about how a husband and wife met each other at work. Those are experiences that will die with our parents and grandparents generation.
Today, it actually kind of signals desperation on the man’s part if he needs to use the workplace as a means of meeting women. An office has plenty of petty bullshit to go around without adding in the extra drama of someone hooking up.
With so many other options in the 21st century, the workplace is really the last place you should go looking for dates.