When you look at what’s going on in the dating scene, it can be a little chaotic and hard to make sense of.
So to gain clarity, we can break things down into three core components that influence behaviors and decision-making within the 21st century meat market we find ourselves in.
Studying the three forces below will give us a better idea of who gets to fuck who.. and why.
This is the one constant and unchanging force that has driven human mating behavior since day one.
There are certain elements drilled into our hindbrains that were forged over millions of years of evolution.
When selecting a mate, men prefer young, hot, fertile women. If she hasn’t been passed around by a football team of other men then that’s great too.
While a compatible personality is a consideration for something long-term, men don’t really prioritize it for sexual decision-making.
Aesthetics and compatible personality do matter to women, but it’s safe to say that their preferences are a little more complex than that. There are a few more pre-requisites to be met for mate selection from their point of view.
In nature, females must depend on the protection and provisioning of males for survival. You still see it in every other species today. The alpha male in a group of baboons gets to have sex with a harem of females while the beta male baboons watch from a distance. In exchange for sex and companionship, the females receive protection and provisioning.
For most of human history, this primitive Alpha male harem scenario was the standard case for humans too (and still is in a lot of situations, see: Dan Bilzerian).
But then humans formed civilizations and introduced religion and marriage into the mix, providing a more stable society where the majority of the male population could reproduce.
Although the civilized life is all we know, there are still evolutionary drivers motivating sexual decisions even though they may not always make logical sense in a modern society.
Even though developed countries are structured so that women can live independent from men, they still tend to prefer men who are more established and have a higher status than their own. This explains why in many cases the man is a few years older than the girl he’s seeing. It also explains why a famous man can sleep with nearly any girl he wants.
Social proof and pre-selection are terms you may have heard that describe qualities that a woman likes. She wants to know that her man is desired by other women.
If you can learn the biological drivers behind a woman’s sexual decision-making process, you can start to emulate them and see gains in your sex life.
Society plays a major role in mate selection.
While the biological factors form what’s operating under the hood, the sociological factors lay out the rules of the road and provide guidelines for mating behavior.
Sometimes the push from society is in direct opposition to the push from biology. The result is usually mental depression and malaise.
Social conditioning, shame, religion, etc. are arguably even more powerful influencers than biology and nature since when you look around it appears that the sociological authority is what prevails. Sometimes it is in harmony with nature, and sometimes not.
Sociological influencers are what causes a woman to make you wait an arbitrary amount of time before sex so that you don’t think she’s a slut.
It’s also what causes people to think it’s creepy when a 40 year old man sleeps with a 20 year old woman who is in her biological prime.. but cute, funny, and empowering when a 40 year old woman picks up a 20 year old man at the local cougar bar.
Marriage would fall under the sociological perspective. It’s anybody’s guess whether humans were naturally meant to hitch their wagons to one person forever and not drive themselves insane because of it.
And of course, the sociological factor is the reason why millions of men try to entice women with Disney romanticism when all evidence suggests that she couldn’t care less about conventional romance.
The final core influencer of the dating scene is supply and demand.
Market conditions obviously have a huge effect on the actors within said market.
Let’s say you want to date Ariana Grande. You might have a tough time with that unless you have extravagant amounts of wealth and fame.
But now let’s say you somehow got stranded on a desert island with Ariana Grande and you’re the only two people within a thousand miles.
It would probably just be a matter of time before the two of you started banging. Supply and demand.
Technological shocks also carry massive impacts to markets. Agriculture and farming changed the way humans lived. The industrial revolution changed the way products were made. And birth control, increasingly progressive attitudes towards sex, and of course Tinder completely changed the sexual marketplace.
In the 21st century United States, the market is set up for a girl to have more sexual options readily available to her than all of her ancestors combined.
This is why you see women frequently punching above their weight in the caliber of man she’s able to snag.
It’s why you see more and more relationships where the woman has slept with 30+ men and the man has slept with 3 women.
And more attempts from Hollywood to normalize this dynamic.
It would appear that the market is reverting back to a more primitive time when a minority of alpha males monopolized the female population.. but with an added twist that when the female ages out, she then makes herself available to the beta providers.
These are the market conditions we live in. Fortunately, through study of game and hard work to elevate your station in life, it is possible for most disciplined and well-read men to break into the Alpha minority.
Better get to work.
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