Before we dive into this list, I’d like to point out that in some cases it does make sense for a man to get married. But before taking the plunge, it would be wise to carefully consider each reason below why you should not.
1. Erosion of your freedom
At the age of 5 you are plucked from your home and enrolled in a combination of both mandatory and voluntary schooling that will dictate your life for roughly the next 13-21 years .
From there you are funneled into the workforce where you will meet more stressful demands. The next step you are pressured to take is anchoring yourself down with a mortgage, hitching your wagon to a woman, and of course the final nail in the coffin that contains your freedom will arrive in the form of a screaming newborn.
Make sure you see the world a bit first and discover what you want out of life before tossing away your freedom like that.
2. You Will Let Yourselves Go
Few people have what it takes or even care to stay in their prime once they have settled down and found their mate. That coveted comfort and security that everyone wants from a relationship is exactly what kills the motivation to stay in peak form.
Humans respond to incentive.
And once you get locked down in a marriage. The incentive to look your best, perform your best, and be your best suddenly starts to evaporate.
Too much comfort is evil.
3. You Can’t Turn A Ho Into A Housewife
If she’s slept with dozens of men then take it as a red flag that she is incapable of staying committed to one person. “Bad bitches” don’t make good wives.
You might be thinking, well most millennial American girls have slept with at least a dozen or two dozen men. Does that mean I shouldn’t marry them?
That’s exactly what it means.
4. Your Best Years Of Slaying Don’t Start Until 30
When I was younger, I used to think that life pretty much ended at 30.
I thought that most normal single girls would only have interest in guys within 1-3 years of their own age.
I was very naive. A man’s prime is in his 30’s. Or at least it should be if you worked hard and stayed smart in your 20’s.
5. Cost Of The Relationship
Dinners. Drinks. Movies. Going on a “real date” whatever that means. Trips. Gifts. Shopping. It adds up.
Women may have equal pay for equal work now. But that doesn’t mean her expectations have changed about you being a chivalrous boyfriend and taking her out.
Consistent sex used to be a huge motivating factor for men to commit and take on these costs. But who even needs relationships when most girls these days will have sex with you on the first date? Unless you really find that unicorn, committing in your younger years is a fools errand.
6. Cost Of The Engagement
Three month’s salary for that ring.
Which was a social norm conveniently pioneered by a jeweler.
Think of all the other things you could do with that money other than purchase a shiny little rock.
Two words: Cubic Zirconia
7. Cost Of The Wedding
Or you could skip out on all the above mentioned costs, use that money to travel the world, and live a life people would pay to read about.
All I’m saying is that before you lay down all this hard-earned cash – better make sure she’s worth it. You can’t afford to fuck this one up.
Don’t forget the lyrics from These Hoes Ain’t Loyal
You just spent your bread on her; and it’s all for nothin’ – Chris Brown
8. Monogamy Denies Your Nature As A Man
Monogamy completely goes against the nature of man. But society programs into our heads that it’s “just something you do”.
We were born to spread our seed. That’s a biological fact.
Monogamy is not a masculine goal. It’s a sacrifice you make for the right girl and for your children.
Marriage and the “American Dream” requires debt. Lots of it.
Make sure it’s actually going to provide you with happiness before you sign up for this.
10. Market Conditions
Relationships and marriages in America are in a disastrous state.
And it’s not getting better any time soon.
Divorce, promiscuity, and infidelity are all at record highs and will continue to increase.
These factors influence the “market” and destroy a high-value man’s incentive to “purchase” by committing.
Sometimes it’s better to just rent and let the owner deal with all the maintenance hassles.
11. Declining Quality of Life
When my father was my age (26), he lived alone in a two bedroom apartment in Redondo Beach, California.
His rent was less than $300 a month. He worked a full-time job and had plenty of money to pay bills, have fun, and grow his bank account.
Fast forward to my generation. I make 3x what he was making back then and couldn’t come close to even affording a one-bedroom in that area, let alone a two-bedroom.
Even when you account for inflation, a much larger percentage of your income today goes to housing than it used to.
Outrageous housing costs and not enough well-paying jobs have sharply downgraded the American quality of life.
But what has remained constant is the expectation on a man to provide the McMansion in the suburbs, the three luxury cars, and the private school tuition.
Again you must ask yourself. Is it worth it?
A classic downside to marriage that plagued even our grandfathers and great-grandfathers.
Don’t forget when you marry her, you marry into her family.
Make sure that you’re compatible with not only her, but her parents as well.
An over-bearing, intrusive, helicopter parent may just cause your life to be hell.
You’ve never been at higher risk of being cheated on than you are today.
It’s estimated that up to 60% of marriages succumb to infidelity.
Women have a constant stream of male advances to deal with. And self-control is not exactly known for being a female strong suit.
Dating apps and social media have not helped this. A few keystrokes on Facebook chat is all it takes for an old flame to be rekindled or a new one to spark up when you’re not looking.
“Privacy” is bullshit and often is just another word for secrecy. If you want the relationship to last, you both should have open-door policies at all times on those dirty little smartphones.
14. Will Your Marriage Last? Flip A Coin
15. Cost Of Divorce
Not to mention alimony, child support, and half of your assets. Proceed with caution.
What are the benefits?
Love? Companionship? A deep spiritual connection?
You can have all of those things without signing a legal contract that invites the government into your home if the relationship goes sour.
Costs, costs, and more costs. Financial, emotional, and physical.
In the 21st century, it’s abundantly clear that modern marriage fails a basic cost-benefit analysis from the man’s perspective.
All this when the milk can be had for free.
All these costs for what? Commitment to a millennial American girl that has given herself away freely to dozens of drunk strangers who didn’t respect her or care about her the way you do? What costs did all those men have to pay to gain access to your wife’s intimacy? A couple rounds of drinks?
Don’t hate these women for how they are. And don’t hate yourself for knowing deep down that it’s all true. You can still enjoy them from an emotional distance. Just don’t fool yourself into thinking they can be something that they’re not. Adjust your expectations and understand that most modern American women cannot fulfill your Disney fantasies.
Progressive attitudes towards sex and dating have destroyed the incentives that made traditional marriage work for so many centuries.
In spite of all this, most men still have a desire to “one day” get married, myself included. Is this due to some innate biological factor driving us to find true companionship? Or is to due to societal programming that everyone should find their soulmate and live happily ever after? Maybe both. I don’t know.
But I do know this..
You can adapt to the new environment by opting out of modern marriage entirely, adjusting your expectations of the typical American girl, and enjoying them from an emotional distance. Or you can hope that someday you find a traditional wholesome woman to settle down with.
Any other outcome will lead to the pain and misery that so many other men have experienced trying to make traditional marriage work in the modern era. When planning your future, marriage should no longer be treated as the rule.. it should be the exception.